Saturday, December 7, 2019
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Alexandra Churchill

Rubey Thursday

In the News: Our new kit is rancid. I think I last saw something that nasty on Byker Grove in the early 90s. Anyone...

Nobody Wants To Be in the Top 4

Red Scouse 2 Chelsea 0: Thankfully I was “yomping about the mountains of Peru with my pet idiot” (Mowgli) and missed this limp, pathetic display. Midway...

They Definitely Are Still West Ham

As if readjusting to the temperature at home wasn’t terrifying enough. Chelsea created a neanderthal photo mash in tonight’s programme of Ampadu, Cahill and...

The Hyphenators

For those that know how much maternal instinct I have, it will amuse you to know that I was entertaining a trio of boys: 10, 4 and 3.

One Kiev, Stuffed

Sarri’s been having talks about pre-season. Probably along the lines of “why the f*ck are we going to Boston three days after the Leicester game?

We Don’t Hate You, Cos You’re Sh*t

This was the 82nd West London derby. Fulham have won precisely nine of them. Hence why this away-day excursion is thoroughly enjoyable, and nobody wants to see them go down, but it doesn’t pack a punch. 

It’s Happened Again!

Ahahahaha, another season, no home, no trophies and a deep sense of emptiness for a club that one week ago thought they might just win the league. 

Where Was My Free Scarf?

A flatter set of fans on their way to Wembley for a proper game (not Sp*rs) you never did see, but by the time everyone converged at the ground we were all more than ready to make an enthusiastic go of it. 

Swedes in Sports Bras

“F*ck Sarriball,” “You Don’t Know What You’re Doing” Oh but he does. He knows exactly what he is doing and he refuses to change it.