Monday, June 25, 2018
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Alexandra Churchill

David Luiz and Olivier Giroud pose with the Emirates FA Cup trophy following their sides victory in The Emirates FA Cup Final between Chelsea and Manchester United at Wembley Stadium.

Bugger Prince Harry. Marry Me Antonio Rudiger

We'd been playing with Swiss balls all week in preparation for this game. Make of that what you will. If Chelsea fans hate me so be it, says Chequebook Pulis.
Antonio Conte looks on prior to the Premier League match between Burnley and Chelsea at Turf Moor on April 19, 2018 in Burnley.

I Love You Chelsea, But I Can’t Look At You Right Now

In the News: We've been charged by the FA for failing to control our players during the Huddersfield game. I vote we find out exactly how much they're charging us, turn up with sledge...
Marcos Alonso shoots while under pressure Alex Pritchard of Huddersfield Town during the Premier League match between Chelsea and Huddersfield Town at Stamford Bridge on May 9, 2018 in London, England. (Photo by Darren Walsh/Chelsea FC via Getty Images)

Someone Hold My Drink

My old nan once told me that cheaters never prosper. She lied.
Olivier Giroud scores his sides first goal during the Premier League match between Chelsea and Liverpool at Stamford Bridge on May 6, 2018 in London, England.

Chelsea 1 Them ‘Orrible Gits 0

Let's get the important sh*t out of the way. Somehow I've been nominated for an award. Who'd have thunk it? Anyway: any and all votes appreciated at: My category is "best new blog." Let's try...
Olivier Giroud is seen in the stands prior to the Premier League match between Chelsea and AFC Bournemouth at Stamford Bridge on January 31, 2018 in London.

Bloody Big Garden!

In the News: I would sincerely like it if the grim reaper would take a step back from Chelsea legends. Roy Bentley fell asleep this week. Captain, Champion, family man, gent; gone to have...
Chelsea players celebrate their first goal, an own goal scored by Kevin Long of Burnley (not pictured) during the Premier League match between Burnley and Chelsea at Turf Moor on April 19, 2018 in Burnley, England.

Let’s All Play For England

Burnley. It basically looks as depressing as “Sterk,” but the locals don’t eat their young.
Antonio Conte shouts during The Emirates FA Cup Quarter Final match between Leicester City and Chelsea at The King Power Stadium on March 18, 2018 in Leicester.

Some Mothers Do ‘Ave ‘Em

In the News: UEFA are morons. This is arguably not news. They've charged Besiktas with insufficient organisation because a ginger cat ran on the pitch during the Bayern game.
Eden Hazard and Willian run at Sergi Roberto of Barcelona during the UEFA Champions League Round of 16 Second Leg match FC Barcelona and Chelsea FC at Camp Nou on March 14, 2018 in Barcelona, Spain.

Ferrets & F*ck Ups

In the News: Eden Hazard criticised for criticising Conte’s tactics after City. This includes not very subtle hints about the consequences from Conte himself. Everyone else had a go, and they didn’t have to...

False 9, False Hope

In the News: I had a list of the usual mockery to put here, but it doesn’t seem fitting to put it after this: Last night Davide Astori, Fiorentina’s captain, checked into the team...
Paul Pogba of Manchester United and Marcos Alonso hug after the Premier League match between Manchester United and Chelsea at Old Trafford on February 25, 2018 in Manchester.

Woe is Us

First there was a handshake. All of the Red Swarm sitting there, pencils poised, with a boner about a potential snub/bitchfight went limp. Quick goal please, obliterate his game plan.