Tuesday 8 January
Tottenham Hotspur 1:0 Chelsea
VAR was supposed to clear up controversy but the problem is always that it is
a referee reviewing the pictures and they are criminally bent, cheating
offspring of incestuous unions.
In tonight’s match Harry Kane ran through offside and then dived into the
keeper to ensure contact to win a penalty. The wank … er …referee making
the decision on VAR ignored the fact that Kane is clearly diving forward before
contact with Arrizabalaga and the reviewed the offside where he decided that
the back of Azpilicueta’s heel was playing Kane onside.
Chelsea had their own camera on the gantry for tactical analysis and a still
from that showed Kane clearly offside.
You’ll remember that we were denied a legitimate goal against Southampton
when a linesman’s flag robbed us of the win. Apparently these things even
themselves out over the course of the season. So we can expect at least two
legitimate goals against us to be scratched off in important matches – no, we
don’t either.
Overall it was encouraging that we were the better side against a Spurs team
that had to rely on cheating to beat us.
Callum Hudson-Odoi started the match looked a little over awed to start with
but grew into the match and created a couple of chances. Bayern Munchen
made an improved offer of £35m during the day but Chelsea maintain they
want Hudson-Odoi to stay and sign a new contract.
Tammy Abraham has reportedly turned down the chance to join Wolves to
stay and see out the season with Aston Villa. Which might mean that he is a
man of his word.

Wednesday 9 January
Chelsea U21 1:3 Peterborough United
Ah it was all going so well as Richard Nartey headed us in front just before the
break and we looked good to extend our lead only for experience, age and
greater fitness to tell in the end. Peterborough were well worth their win in the
The football community sniffed when U21 sides were first allowed into the
competition but the experience gained in these matches is really making a
difference to our players who are mostly still under the age of 20.
Chelsea 4:0 Reading
Fran Kirby was back from injury tonight and helped the girls make it ten wins
on a row with two goals. Anita Asante scored her first for the Blues with Ali
Riley scoring her second for the club to put and end to any Reading
Lewis Baker returned from his loan with Leeds and has shipped straight out to
spend the rest of the season with Reading. At the same time Casey Palmer,
now 22, has returned from loan with Blackburn Rovers and is heading to
Ashton Gate to spend the rest of the campaign with Bristol Titty… err… City.
Ike Ugbo is back from his 16 appearances for Scunthorpe.

Friday 11 January
Cesc Fabregas has officially left for a three-year contract with Monaco and
our best wishes after a brilliant four and a half year spell at Chelsea that saw
him win two league titles and one each of the FA Cup and the league cup.
Brilliant: Derby County reported spotting a shadowy figure hiding in the
bushes near their training pitch this afternoon. Plod rolled round and
discovered that the snake in the grass was a member of Leeds United’s
coaching staff. Leeds entertained Derby in the evening beating them 2-0 but
the spying incident dominated the news. The usual blowhards condemned
Marcelo Bielsa, blustering that it was immoral if not illegal burbling about
being a gentleman or obeying unspoken rules. Bielsa for his part admitted that
he sent the mole but pointed out that the action is not illegal and he has been
employing it for years, as does every coach in South America.
Frank Lampard was very cross, grumping about having his tactical approach,
injuries and pressing patterns exposed ahead of the match. He should have
been grateful for the lesson in pressing Bielsa’s Leeds handed his Derby side.
With limited resources Bielsa has turned Ken Bates’ basket case into serious
Frank might buy himself a mackintosh and some binoculars.
Josh Grant has joined Yeovil until the end of the season. At twenty-years-old
this is Josh’s first loan. Karlo Ziger will keep goals for Sutton United for the
rest of the campaign.

Saturday 12 January
Chelsea 2:1 Newcastle United
We are not making it easy for ourselves but a superb Willian strike restored
our lead after Pedro’s good control and finish had been cancelled out.
After failing to score in our previous two home games it was a relief to see
Pedro lob the ’keeper, from Luiz’s s beautiful pass, after only eight minutes.
Newcastle offered very little bar a few breaks until they headed in a corner for
a scantly deserved equaliser.
We didn’t create enough chances from all our possession again but Willian
curled in a shot with no back lift and nothing much to aim at.
The continuing staleness in front of goal may be alleviated as Gonzalo
Higuain as asked to leave AC Milan earlier today.

Chelsea U18 2:2 Southampton U18
Two late goals save a point for us from another difficult home match. Ben
Greenwood is a new name and a trialist but made an impact with the first and
French youth international Pierre Ekwah Elimby slotted the leveller.

Sunday 13 January
Arsenal 1:2 Chelsea
This meant so much to the women as they took a slice of revenge on Arsenal
for the 0-5 pasting we received earlier in the season. Arsenal’s season seems
to be unravelling as they couldn’t name a full bench for this match. They still
have the advantage of two points and a game in hand but City look the team
to catch now.
Erin Cuthbert scored both our goals and dominated the midfield but there was
an air of determination about everything the Chelsea women did.

Monday 14 January
Everton U23 2:0 Chelsea U23
A man sent off in the first fifteen minutes didn’t help as we succumbed to the
league leaders. Richard Nartey the man off for denying a clear goal scoring
In a day of comings and goings David Wagner walked away from
Huddersfield Town with them rock bottom of the league and Forest hired
Martin O’Neill. The former Republic boss takes over with the Tricky Trees in
ninth only four points behind Derby in the last Championship play-off position.

Tuesday 15 January
Petr Cech announced that he will retire from football after twenty years as a
professional at the end of this season. Petr won everything there is to win in
the game after he joined us in 2004. He left the Bridge for the Ashburton
Grove retirement home in 2015 having racked up four league titles, four FA
Cups, three league cups and a brace of European trophies.
Sheffield Wednesday beat unlucky Luton Town in their third round replay and
will roll up at the Bridge on Sunday week.

Wednesday 16 January
VAR proved itself a farcical and corrupt exercise again. The gormless cheats
at Stockley Park were asked to adjudicate on Derby County’s opening goal
against Southampton and called an offside. At half-time Alan Shearer laughed
at the incompetence of the decision, pointing out that the Derby player was
level, that the benefit of the doubt is supposed to be with the attacker and that
VAR is only supposed to correct clear and obvious errors. VAR failed on all
those counts and cheated Derby out of a half-time lead.
It was a shame as Fikayo Tomori and Mason Mount were both playing really
The snide, cheating cabal of referee’s operating the video recorder and
rewind button are even powerful enough to get a message through to the live
BBC coverage to dispute Shearer’s analysis before the half-time break was

Saturday 19 January
Arsenal 2:0 Chelsea
This was nothing but a disgrace. Arsenal wanted to win this match while we
turned up, without a striker again, and watched Arsenal play round us. Alonso
hit a post with a first-half header but that was it against a weak and gormless
Gooner side we stank. Worse than we did at Tottenham.
Sarri said afterwards that he was angry and criticised his player for a lack of
motivation… well, we can tell him that we are very angry too… the difference
is that we don’t set the team up and watch them fail week after week without
doing anything about it.
Arsenal didn’t have to play well – they employed a simple high press that we,
apparently, cannot predict or nullify – we let them win this.
Chelsea have sacked managers for displays as bad as this in the recent past
and if Sarri continues to show a complete inability to alter his tactics to suit opponents or influence the game, either at half-time or through substitutions,
he will have to go.
The BBC and BT made a lot of Alonso pushing Ainsley Maitland-Niles, which he obviously did but they ignored Arsenal player’s hand on the Chelsea player’s throat.
It seems petty bias and discrimination will haunt us for the rest of our lives. Alonso will probably be banned.