Tuesday 10 April
Chelsea U18 4:0 Birmingham City U18
Another semi-final safely negotiated as a resilient and talented Birmingham side were swept away by two goals from Callum Hudson-Odoi and one each from Charlie Brown and Tariq Uwakwe.
The final will be against either Blackpool or Arsenal who are tied at 2-2 after their first leg.
Liverpool humbled Man City at their place, beating them 1-2 and dispelling the myths that have grown around Guardiola’s side. It seems you can defend well against them and score easily… if you try.
Bigger news in Rome as AC Roma hit three against Barcelona to knock them out on away goals.

Wednesday 11 April
Huge controversy as spineless English referee Michael Oliver fell for a late dive in the box and awarded undeserving, preening fascist scum Real Madrid a late penalty. To add insult to injury he sent off Juve captain Gianluigi Buffon for an imagined push on the referee. It was a disgraceful way to finish what had been a thrilling game as Juventus, 3-0 down from the first leg, fought back into the tie to lead 0-3 on the night. Extra-time and penalties looked a real prospect before incompetent jobsworth Oliver handed the tie to Real and ruined the end of a magnificent goalkeeper’s European career by sending him off. Buffon barely made contact with the English referee and any contact was clearly accidental. Very much the same could be said for the challenge that resulted in the penalty as Medhi Benatia brushed the back of Lucas Vazquez who threw himself to the floor. You have to be a card carrying falangist to think it was a penalty and, clearly, Oliver is fascist to his roots.

Friday 13 April
Chelsea U23 1:2 Tottenham Hotspur U23
Another slip at U23 keeps us mid-table, as 3,000 paid good money to watch us lose to 10-men. It has been that kind of season.
The club have submitted formal complaints to Uefa about the police brutality in Barcelona ahead of our Champions League game there last month. We wait to hear what kind of a fudge or cover-up Uefa come up with in reply.

Saturday 14 April
Southampton 2:3 Chelsea
Finally the first-team woke up and started playing. It took falling two behind and the introduction of Olivier Giroud for the side to click but two from Giroud either side of an Eden Hazard strike final kicked us back into gear. Before then we looked apathetic and second best.
It is surprising that Southampton are in the bottom three given this kind of performance.
Wolverhampton Wanderers are promoted to the Premiership next term as Brentford’s late equaliser against Fulham mean they cannot finish lower than second.
Bury have been relegated from League One after a 0-2 defeat to Wigan.

West Ham United U18 1:4 Chelsea U18
A fifteenth win in a row secured a fourth southern section title in a row as Chelsea’s academy keeps proving that we are the cream of the crop in producing quality teams and players. Billy Gilmour, Tino Anjorin, Charlie Brown and, the impressive, Conor Gallagher scored the goals that confirms this crop as champions with two games to spare.

Sunday 15 April
Chelsea 2:0 Manchester City
The women booked another FA Cup final as Fran Kirby took her chances in a tight game. We surrendered possession to the Citizens but almost no real chances as we booked a final meeting with Arsenal at Wembley.

Manchester United managed to avoid the humiliation of losing the title to City last weekend, only to find a more humiliating way to concede the crown by losing, at home, to bottom club West Brom.
Chelsea have one champion already as Marco van Ginkel captained PSV to a 3-0 over Ajax Amsterdam to secure the Dutch league title.